so a hobbit, a dwarf, and an elf walk into a bar...

What really happened to the characters of LOTR after the war...

Bilbo- After completely going insane, Mr. Baggins continued to write a series of books and memoirs. No one knew if the stories were exactly true or not, but they were still popular. After finally leaving Rivendell, mostly because Elrond was so sick of hearing him mumble and make up songs in a dark corner while rocking back and forth, he traveled back to the Shire. While going back, he made a stop in Bree where he was involved in the Riot of Prancing Pony and was said by a witness to have "...burst through the door while singing some odd song, why then he hopped on the table and was doing some sort of jig and mumbling something about a ring." After returning to the shire, he resided with Frodo for a while before starting a traveling a cappella group (singing soprano). The group included Gandalf, Elrond, and Tom Bombadil and was slightly sucessful.

Gandalf- He traveled around middle-earth for many years looking for various jobs after being fired from his position of Head of the Council of the Wise. He didn’t like to talk about his termination but rumor has it he was smuggling and selling underground souvenirs of the One Ring and "Frodo lives" t-shirts to make some extra money. By using his wizard skills, Gandalf was forced to do children’s birthday parties (including all of Sam’s kids) and carnival acts. When he heard that Bilbo was looking for an alto, he auditioned and made the group. After the group broke up, he went to the undying lands with Bilbo, Elrond, and Frodo.

Elrond- After his daughter Arwen was wed to Aragorn, Elrond went back to Rivendell where he lived with Bilbo, much to his dismay. Elrond himself wrote some books including poems and songs of the elves. He got rid of Bilbo by telling him that his "ring" was in the Shire, and Bilbo was so excited that he believed him and left Rivendell. Elrond thought he had seen the last of Bilbo, but oh no, they meet once again. Elrond, very bored and lonely since Bilbo had gone, decided to do some traveling. He came across auditions for an a cappella group that was desperate for an "Elven Voice". Elrond became the new tenor before he could say "Mellon", because unaware to Elrond, Bilbo was the one forming the group and started dancing when he saw his old pal Elrond.

Tom Bombadil- He stayed in the Old Forest for many a years protecting the forest from what evils remained. After realizing that he was as old as the world but had never been outside the Old Forest, Tom thought it best if he traveled around a bit. Taking Goldberry with him, he went through uncharterd lands with strange creatures and objects he had never seen. Goldberry had to explain that they were in the Shire. Well, as we all know, Tom eventually made it into the a cappella group as the bass.

Goldberry- The manager and costume designer for the group. She also composed and wrote some of the songs and eventually sued the group for copyright infringement. After the breakup, she and Tom moved back to the Old Forest.

[THE BAGEND BOYS]
Frodo- He was the manager and founder of the popular boy band Bagend Boys. After deciding to embark on a deadly mission, carrying a powerful ring, and saving the world from the evil Sauron, Frodo still felt he was missing something (besides his finger that is, haha). When his friends came back to the Shire he knew exactly what that was. These hobbits were just the best of friends and wanted to be with each other all the time. So they did what all friends do when they want to be together- they started a boy group. After countless dance rehearsals and strenuous voice training, they made their first Middle Earth tour called the "Hobbit Fellowship Tour of 1135". Their hit song "A Ring for U" reached #1 in the Shire Billboard Chart. They had concerts in such cities as Hobbiton, Bree, Rivendell, Edoras, and Minus Tirith. They also played at the Gondor MusicFest, which included Middle Earth Anarchy. After Merry’s mishap (see Merry), the group continued for 3 more years until Frodo’s past caught up with him. Losing a finger hurt Frodo’s (aka FroMan the older brother type) self-esteem. Along with the pains he occasionally suffered as a result of being a ringbearer, Frodo suffered a mental breakdown and had to rest in his hobbit hole in Hobbiton. Sam decided it best to end the group. Frodo lived in Hobbiton and wrote books until his leave to the Undying Lands with Sam.
Sam- He went back to Hobbiton and continued working as a gardener for Frodo. These two were as best friends as best friends could be. They enjoyed their time together so much; they drank tea, ate scones and seed-cakes, and reminisced the amazing adventures they experienced. After joining Bagebd Boys, Sam (aka Sammy the shy, sweet one) was slightly embarrassed at the attention he got. He just wanted to be a gardener and he was also worried about Frodo’s condition. When he married Rosie, many hobbit girls were mad and some even cried. This hurt the group’s popularity but they still had success. After Merry’s problem, the group continued until the official break up 3 years later. Sam and Rosie lived in Hobbiton and raised their many children. In old age, Frodo took his long time best friend Sam with him to the undying lands.
Pippin- Peregrin Took became a gaurdsman for Minus Tirith where he lived after the war. Five years later, Pippin moved back to the Shire and visited Frodo, Sam, and Fatty. Once Merry came back and the whole gang was back together, they formed the group. Pippin (aka Pip the cute one) enjoyed being in the group probably more than the others did. He was also the most popular one so he became slightly egotistical. When popularity went down, Pippin was blamed because he was “too concentrated on himself”. Merry’s problem was blamed on Pip because he wasn’t being supportive. Actually, Pippin was blamed for so much stuff because he was “that fool of a Took” he quit the group after Frodo’s mental breakdown. Pippin later tried a solo career but it wasn’t working so he moved back to Hobbiton and became a manager for rising musical groups.
Merry- Meriadoc Brandybuck became an esquire in Rohan and lived there for many years before deciding to move back to the Shire and grow a pipewed farm. There was a hobbit reunion when Merry was reunited with Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Fatty and they knew right there that they could never be parted again. Within 2 years of their success, Merry (aka Merry B, the rebel) began an addiction to pipeweed. Within a year, he became distempered, forgot his dance moves, and started adding curse words during his solos. In denial of his problem, Frodo decided to admit Merry into a Pipeweed Rehab program in Bree and Merry recovered within the following year. He now resides in South Farthing and teaches young hobbits about pipeweed addiction in the P. A. R. E. (Pipeweed Abuse Resistance Education) program.
Fatty- Fatty (the fat one no one liked) lived in Crickhollow and rejoined his friends for the reunion. After joining the group, he realized he had no fan base so he started to go into a depression and over-ate. In fact, he gained double his weight and had trouble doing the dance routines. One time at a concert, Fatty was trying to do his signature move when couldn’t lift up his leg because he was so fat. He collapsed on stage and was rushed to a medic. He had to do several 12-step programs because most of them didn’t work and he finally lost some of the weight. Because this happened around the same time as Frodo’s mental breakdown and Pippin had quit, the group was no more. Fatty moved back to Crickhollow, where he became a motivational speaker. He also owned an apothecary, where he developed a diet potion.

[MIDDLE-EARTH ANARCHY]
Aragorn- Became King of Gondor but realized that his job was actually very boring. When he heard that Legolas and Gimli were starting a punk band he knew what his real destiny was. He played guitar in the band and also background vocals. Once the group retired, Aragorn returned back to Minus Tirith to be with his true love Arwen, who had been ruling the kingdom in his place. They lived happily ever after and raised a family.
Legolas- After the festivities in Minus Tirith that marked the end of the war, Legolas moved to Ithilien where he was the brave and wonderful leader of elves that lived there. He learned his gifted talent of the guitar by accident. One day, he was sitting in the forests of Ithilien, very bored. He started plucking at his bow and some wicked punk riffs came out. He then had the ingenious idea of forming a punk rock band. With his beautiful Elven voice, he also was the lead singer. Their group “Middle Earth Anarchy” became so popular they had to get Treebeard as a bodyguard. With all their fame, Legolas still remained the same humble and sweet elf. After 5 double platinum records and the #1 hit song "Sauron Sucks", they decided to retire (and because of Gimli’s little mishap discussed later). Legolas joined the others in the Undying lands.
Gimli- Establishing a dwarf community at Helm’s Deep, Gimli lived there for a couple of years after the war. Still mesmerized by Galadriel’s beauty, Gimli thought about her and had dreams about her all the time. He wanted so much to see her again. After visiting his best pal Legolas in Ithilien, he learned about the idea of starting a punk band. Gimli begged to be the drummer because he thought Galadriel would be impressed by his rock star status. They had many sold out concerts and tons of fans, but part of Gimli was still sad. He organized a concert in Lorien and was so thrilled at seeing Galadriel that he made the band play at Lorien almost every day. Once some of the elves got suspicious, they canceled the rest of the concerts. Gimli was still determined and would sneak into Lorien at night, stand outside Galadriel’s room, and gaze up at her balcony. But when she would come out, however, he would always run off. Eventually, Galadriel had to get a restraining order since Gimli kept stalking her, and he had to quit the band. He was also getting threats from Celeborn, including one duel to the death and quote "to stay away from my woman." Brokenhearted, Gimli went to live with Legolas in Ithilien and went to the Undying Lands together.

[GI ELVES] Elladan and Elrohir- These two fought in every battle known to man (err I mean Elf). When they went to the Undying Lands, they were so used to wars and fighting that they started imaginary battles and fought the air. They developed “Post-Traumatic War Syndrome”; however instead of having nightmares of the horrors of war, they had reoccurring dreams of attacking orcs with arrows and piercing trolls while laughing.

[THE BODYGUARD] Treebeard- This Ent continued to live in Fangorn Forest for many years. However, when Middle Earth Anarchy became extremely popular and needed a bodyguard, he came to his friends’ aid. No one would dare to mess with this guy, even though he would never really hurt anyone. He was just in it for the free concerts as he said, "Hooom, hoof, hmph…you guys rock!"

[THE ORIGINAL SWINGER] Butterbur- The bartender continued working at his bar The Prancing Pony. The bar was always very successful and popular do to its location. After the Riot occurred, however, things changed. Prancing Pony was losing business. In order to keep his bar alive, Butterbur turned it into a night club complete with swing music. In fact, Butterbur was even part of the act and sang some swing, he was known as "The Frank Sinatra" of Middle Earth (don’t ask how they knew about Sinatra). The Prancing Pony became known as The Swinging Pony and was a hot spot and headquarters for the Bree Mafia. After years of success, the bar was shut down after the Bree Mafia was busted when Little Tony Smallfeet was arrested for illegal gambling.